Overheard in my office…

M (Showing  me two pieces of paper she has just printed):  How do I get this all on one page?  Also I dont need all this rubbish to print out.

NOTE: These are not the actual pages, just an example…

We work in an open plan office with a few closed offices around us…

A phone rings in one of the offices  (only two women sit in that particular office).

It stops and then rings again.

And again.

B: I wonder whose phone that is?  It keeps ringing!

This one was overheard this morning by a colleague in an office down the hall…

J: If I type something on Word can I still forward it to someone?  Because it doesn’t say I can forward!

K: Can you come and see what is wrong with my computer?  It seems to be in a freezing mood…

We work in a job where we have batches that need to be tallied up before being punched into our system, there are often two sets of totals that are needed so we each have an adding machine that spits out little pieces of paper with the totals on them.

B: I just tried to add this up on my keyboard instead of the adding machine.  I couldn’t understand why it wasn’t doing anything.

followed by…

R: Oh I often try adding up on my phone by mistake.

followed by…

K: When I call Discovery Health and they ask you to put in your membership number, I sometimes put it into my adding machine…

Print it out 10 times and hand it out!

Today the conversation turned to sex.  The ladies holding the conversation are all grandmothers.  Below I recount what I heard…

K: Did you read that article about sex?

B: Oh ja!  It was very interest…*

*At this point my ears started to buzz loudly and my vision went a bit blurry…

Background: The lady in question was not born in SA and English is not her mother tongue, she has however lived here for many many years.

While giving a speech about a soldier who had lost a limb in battle she proceeded to explain to us that thanks to the hard work and effort put into raising funds we were instrumental in providing the soldier with a prostate leg…

One of the ladies from the office next door gave me this one yesterday morning…

Ethel (yes, she is actually in her 80′s): There is something wrong with my diary.  There is no 30th of February!

Another classic from Bob.

The IT guy walks into Bob’s office, he is practically crying he is laughing so hard.

Bob: IT Guy, whats so funny?

IT Guy: I got an urgent call to fix a problem with a computer.

Bob: What was the problem.

IT Guy: Well, you see, she wasn’t receiving emails.  So I checked the connections, I checked Outlook, I checked everything I could possibly check.

Bob: And, what was the problem?

IT Guy: No one has sent her any…